Why do this? Because anger never stands alone. It is always a mask for something else. But what, you may be asking. How about fear or hurt or disappointment? How about an unspoken concern or an unexpressed episode of pain, or even an undissolved experience that terrified you? Maybe you don’t even remember the reason why you’re scared, or upset, because you’ve buried it so deep to avoid feeling the pain it brings with it. Anger management techniques are not only about what to do after the episode of anger. It also requires that we look at the reasons why we become angry.
Were you perhaps bullied, abandoned or rejected either as a child or in your adult life? Were you afraid to speak out or were you warned against speaking out? This may have weakened you, making you feel helpless and alone. As a result you may have developed a routine of becoming angry and hostile to boost yourself and feel that some degree of control has been regained.
Or maybe you’re just tired of holding everything together, and the weight of your burden has become too much for you. Perhaps you’re scared that if you stop juggling all those many roles, who will do it instead?
Do any of the suggestions resonate within you? Is there anything written here that makes you react strongly either positively or negatively?
In truth it could be just one thing that has made you react angrily, or it could be a combination of events end experiences. The decision to look deeper into the root cause of your anger is possibly one of the most courageous tasks you will undertake, and I applaud you wholeheartedly.
This is an important step in any set of anger management techniques. Even though there seem to be a lot of open questions here, and not many answers, remember always that the answers lie within you...I’m only giving you a possible road map. You decide the destination. Remember also that you’re always safe to explore your mind and your memories. The things that hurt you before cannot hurt you again. They are only memories. In doing this revisiting exercise, you regain control of your life in a wholesome and healthy way. This will hopefully result in the elimination of your painful emotions attached to those memories, and therefore the elimination of the angry reaction that you may be using to mask it. If you want to learn more about the root causes of anger, have a look at this anger management program designed with you in mind.
Disclaimer: Please note that this article is based on my own experience of successfully using this as an anger management technique. If you have any concerns or anxieties as a result of the contents of this article, then I recommend that you contact your doctor who will fully support you.